Mr. “Someone” wakes up at whatever hour of the day he damn well pleases to go to work. It’s a job he genuinely loves and one that pays incredibly well. In fact, he is thoroughly satisfied with his life; with his light workload of about four hours a day, he easily covers all his expenses. To top it off, there is always plenty of money left over, allowing him and Mrs. “Someone” to dine at the city’s finest restaurants several times a week. Whenever they feel like taking a vacation, they just go—Mr. Someone’s time-off requests are, without fail, always approved.
In the city of “Nowhere Land,” everyone lives exactly like this, and it isn’t considered strange in the slightest. Besides, Mr. Someone actually wants to work; otherwise, he could easily do what Mrs. Someone does: spend her days watching movies and hanging out with her friends.
I know exactly what you’re thinking as you read this: “So what? What kind of story is this supposed to be?” The reason you feel this way is that you are conditioned to constantly struggle, toil, and sweat just to catch a breath of comfort. But in Nowhere Land, there is no need for any of that. No one envies anyone else because nobody is beneath anybody else. People don’t even lie, because they have absolutely no one to fear.
One day, as Mr. Someone was heading to work (though truth be told, he mostly works from home and only went to the office that day on a whim), he reached a sharp bend in the road. A novice driver, speeding recklessly just for the cheap thrill of it, lost control of his car and plowed straight into the front end of Mr. Someone’s car, completely wrecking it.
Calm as a cucumber, Mr. Someone stepped out of his vehicle, called his office, and said, “I won’t be in for a week. The neighbor’s kid was out joyriding again and, of course, targeted me.” Bantering with his colleague and laughing at his cheesy joke, he added, “Actually, make it two weeks. I think I’m suffering from stress. Put me down for paid leave.”
Then, he walked over to the neighbor’s kid and slapped him across the face with all his might!…
See? You’re practically begging for some violent, ridiculous drama to happen, aren’t you?
Well, sorry to disappoint, but nothing of the sort happened. He simply walked over to the kid and joked, “Crash into my car once or twice more, and you’ll finally get the hang of driving, kiddo.” Laughing, the boy replied, “Keys, please.” He took the keys to Mr. Someone’s car and said, “I’ll have it back to you in three days, looking brand new.”
Mr. Someone hadn’t even set off yet, so he just went right back inside. Mrs. Someone was absolutely thrilled by this turn of events, as they had already made plans with their friends to go watch the horse races together.
Horse racing in Nowhere Land is a dreadfully boring affair—very much like this story! Betting on the horses is a win-win game: even if your horse comes in dead last, you get every single penny of your money back. But if your horse actually wins, they pay you out several times your stake. However, in the city of Nowhere Land, no one is interested in making more money. I mean, imagine you did end up with a bit of extra cash in this town… so what?
